2015 Regrets

I always end the year by writing about my accomplishments, failure, regrets and resolutions. Today’s post is about regrets.

I have three tiers of regret in life:

1. Basic mistakes and scenarios where I want a do-over,
2. Stupid errors in judgment where I ought to know better,
3. Lazy choices that are made for short-term gains at the expense of long-term goals.

This year, I’ve experienced sadness and disappointment in all three categories. I’ve missed a few chances to make things right. Who hasn’t?

But I think my biggest regret is not spending more time with my family and friends.

First of all, this regret is all my own. I have extreme anxiety, and I start to act like an asshole around my family after 72 hours. If you combine the fact that I have to travel long distances to see them during the holiday seasons, I’m unbearable.

The good news is that I’m old enough to know who I am in life. I do well in short spurts. I’m just back from seeing my family, which includes my adorable niece and newborn nephew. I wish I could spend more time with them, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I wish I had more time to see friends in cities all over the world, but sometimes I’m just so damn tired that all I want to do is curl up in my hotel room and read YA novels or watch The Weather Channel. I’m not trying to avoid anyone, and I regret when someone feels excluded from my life, but I don’t know what to do about that. Sorry.

Regret is complicated. I know that I’m an awesome aunt who swoops in from North Carolina and organizes hotel swimming pool parties. I’m a great friend who, on occasion, will stop in your town and maybe have a drink with you.

I regret that I can’t offer more.