Have you ever questioned your relationship with alcohol? No matter what your personal answer is, this episode will get you sober-curious. My guest today is Meg Daly. Meg is an International Coaching Federation-certified coach, a former corporate health care executive and the founder of the Live More Drink Less community.
Meg is focused on helping people live an alcohol-free lifestyle to help them sleep better, feel lighter and live better. And in this episode, she is sharing her journey to being alcohol-free, her 30-day alcohol-reset program, her podcast and how this journey has brought her more joy and happiness.
“Can you be excellent when you’re drinking?”
“What does it mean to be excellent?”
“Is it OK to drink on the sofa and watch the news?”
These are just some of the questions I’ve thought about, and Meg Daly has got some answers in this conversation.
Punk Rock HR is proudly underwritten by The Starr Conspiracy. The Starr Conspiracy is a B2B marketing agency for innovative brands creating the future of workplace solutions. For more information, head over to thestarrconspiracy.com.
Putting Down the Glass
When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, it’s time for a change. This is what happened to Meg Daly during the pandemic. Before the pandemic hit, Meg used to have nightly dates with her pinot noir, aka Mr. P, and David Muir. It became a nightly routine that increased during the pandemic.
“I just would wake up every morning, and sometimes it was a glass and a half of wine, sometimes it was a whole bottle,” she says. “I woke up every morning just feeling like, not a lot of energy, didn’t sleep well, feeling like I had a little bit of the flu. And I was in therapy at that time for anxiety, and my therapist had said to me, ‘Meg, let’s talk about this wine that you have every day.’”
That conversation changed how Meg viewed her alcohol consumption and her anxiety. According to medical studies, when people with anxiety drink alcohol, their anxiety peaks on the third day after drinking. Meg felt she was “on a perpetual high” because she had one or two drinks a night, but what she was actually experiencing was the opposite effect.
Meg saw a therapist for addiction who told her, “No, you’re not an alcoholic, you’re someone who is leaning on alcohol to ease the overwhelm, but it’s actually inflaming it.”
Reclaiming Joy and Happiness
Meg had feelings of shame over her drinking. Looking back, she says it’s clear how it was affecting multiple areas of her life, including her work. Most importantly, she was done with alcohol “stealing my joy” and happiness.
Meg had tried to moderate or stop drinking before, “and I always self-sabotaged on the last day — 21-day reset from alcohol, I’d have a glass of chardonnay on day 20.
“So anyway, I thought, ‘How am I going to get through this? Oh dear God.’ And I think what was different for me this time is I started creating my tribe,” Meg continues. “I started educating myself on, rather than white-knuckling it, what can I do?”
She started crafting what would become a suite of offerings: the Live More Drink Less community, her 30-day alcohol-reset plan and The Tender Love Podcast, which she recently rebranded from The Tranquility Talk.
“What I realized was, if I could change my thought about what I was doing, everything would change,” Meg says. “So things like time-traveling to the next morning like, ‘OK, I can drink tonight, and then how is my day going to look tomorrow? If I don’t drink, how is it going to look?’”
This journey to an alcohol-free lifestyle isn’t easy. Even if you listen to the right podcast, follow the suitable role models and do your research, finishing the journey still requires a change of mindset and perseverance. But after you move through the journey, Meg says, you’ll start to see some of that joy and happiness reenter your life.
“It’s getting into the mind and reframing and also realizing that, you know what? Going alcohol-free is kind of the cool thing these days, and there’s so many alternatives, nonalcoholic wine, champagne, beer, et cetera,” she says.
Beyond the 30 Days
Not everyone who goes through Meg’s 30-day reset has the same results. Some people remain alcohol-free after the program, while others continue to drink but do so with a new perspective. Either way, a person’s mindset and relationship with alcohol change positively.
“I like to say, ‘You’re the guru of you,’ you know what works for you. So some people come into my 30-day reset wanting to just go alcohol-free, others just want to do a reset and get to a place where they can moderate,” Meg shares.
Even people who return to alcohol consumption in moderation can enjoy a variety of benefits from a 30-day break, which can encourage them to do another reset. Some people are like Meg and gradually move to abstinence.
“I went for longer than 90 days, and then I thought, ‘Well, I can moderate,’ and then I would have my wine, I’d be like, ‘I’m just not attracted to it anymore,’ which I never thought in a million years I would get to that place where I could take it or leave it,” she explains.
A simple but effective step in resetting your relationship with alcohol is to think about how you want to feel mentally, emotionally, and physically in the future.
This can mean planning ahead for the next day. If it’s Friday night, “start coming up with ideas: Farmers market … going out for brunch with girlfriends, doing something in the morning,” Meg says. And each night, she adds, use the “flash-forward trick of, ‘OK, what are my choices tonight?’ I’m going to make my choices tonight based on how I want to feel tomorrow morning.”
Learn more about Meg’s 30-day reset and use the promo code PUNKROCKHR10 to get 10% off your program.
[bctt tweet=”‘Some people come into my 30-day reset wanting just to go alcohol-free, others just want to do a reset and get to a place where they can moderate.’~ Meg Daly, founder, Live More Drink Less. Tune in to #PunkRockHR!” via=”no”]
People in This Episode
- Meg Daly: Website, Instagram, The Tender Love Podcast
Full Transcript
Laurie Ruettimann:
This episode of Punk Rock HR is sponsored by The Starr Conspiracy. The Starr Conspiracy is the B2B marketing agency for innovative brands, creating the future of workplace solutions. For more information, head on over to thestarrconspiracy.com.
Hey everybody, I’m Laurie Ruettimann. Welcome back to Punk Rock HR. My guest today is Meg Daly. She’s a certified coach, a former corporate health care executive, and the founder of the Live More Drink Less community. That’s right, Meg is someone who’s focused on helping you live alcohol-free so you can begin sleeping deeper, feeling lighter and living better. Meg’s on the show today talking about her 30-day alcohol reset, and also a little bit about her podcast, The Tranquility Talk. I am all about thinking through questions these days like, “Can you be excellent when you’re drinking?” And also, “What does it mean to be excellent?” And, “Is it OK just to drink on the sofa and watch the news?” And boy, Meg has got some answers to those questions. So if you’re currently curious about your relationship with alcohol, or you just want to know more about a 30-day alcohol reset, well, sit back and enjoy Meg Daly on this week’s Punk Rock HR.
Hey Meg, welcome to the podcast.
Meg Daly:
Oh, I’m so happy to be here, Laurie. Thank you.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Well, I’m pleased to have you. Before we get started, why don’t you tell everybody who you are and what you’re all about?
Meg Daly:
My name is Meg Daly, and I am the creator of the Live More Drink Less, 30-Day Reset. And it started during COVID, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and I went on a 90-day reset with a friend. And the way we got through it was, I created audios and homework, and I thought, “Well, why don’t I share this with my community?” And it just took off from here, and I also have a podcast called, The Tender Love Podcast, we just went through a rebrand. So, it’s all about, I provide a space for people, but specifically people who really understand this idea of being highly sensitive, empathic. And I provide a space of nurturing for people who want more comfort and calm, whether it be professionally or personally.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Well, who doesn’t want that? I feel like the world is currently ready for a reset. So let’s talk about your 30-day reset. Can we go into what it is? You mentioned it got started during COVID. What did you feel like was going on in your life that you’re like, “I need a reset happening right now”?
Meg Daly:
I became very dependent on, I call it, my nightly date with Mr. P and David Muir. I would go into my den and I’d have Mr. P, my pinot noir, and watch David Muir, and — especially during COVID, it really kicked up during COVID. And I just would wake up every morning, and sometimes it was a glass and a half of wine, sometimes it was a whole bottle. I woke up every morning just feeling like, not a lot of energy, didn’t sleep well, feeling like I had a little bit of the flu. And I was in therapy at that time for anxiety, and my therapist had said to me, “Meg, let’s talk about this wine that you have every day.”
And I was like, “Do we really need to?” And she went on to explain that people with true anxiety, there are medical studies shown that on the third day after drinking. We think, oh, the next day you’re hungover, but with people with true anxiety, it’s the third day, their anxiety is totally peaked. And I thought, “Why am I on a perpetual high then?” because I was having a glass or two or more of wine every night. And I went to her, I went to someone else who are therapists for addiction, and they’re like, “No, you’re not an alcoholic, you’re someone who is leaning on alcohol to ease the overwhelm, but it’s actually inflaming it.”
Laurie Ruettimann:
Well, I’m curious about that, because the language around alcohol consumption is changing right now. So it’s interesting to me that, back in the day, people were either alcoholics or they weren’t, and now there’s this whole spectrum of alcohol use and disuse that could lead to people questioning, “What do I need? Do I need AA? Do I need to go to rehab?” And what if you’re just a corporate drinker, where you’re drinking because of work? So I’m fascinated by this. How did you know you weren’t a quote-unquote alcoholic?
Meg Daly:
Because I was able to stop when I was able to stop. I mean, I was leaning on food, I was a closet little smoker. It was all — I hope my mother is not listening to this.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Hey, I just have to say, so many people who drink are closet smokers, it’s like they get a glass of wine in them and they’re at a conference and then they grab a cigarette, it’s fascinating.
Meg Daly:
It is. And I just knew that I didn’t even like smoking. One of my doctors said, “oh, it’s the breathing, you might want to try breathwork, Meg.” But it’s the repetitive breathing of the cigarette. And I just knew deep in my heart that I wanted to step into wellness, and I was able to. And I wasn’t addicted to these things, because I could leave them for a week or so, but it was stealing my joy. And I know that sounds a little Pollyanna, but it was, it was stealing my joy, and it was also stealing my performance at work in the corporate world for years. And I look back on how it was really ruining the bottom line for myself and for my company that I worked for.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Wait, do you really feel that way? Because I think, companies get what they get, they get the whole employees, so if I show up hungover, that’s just part of the package, because other days I’m going to kill it, but that’s an interesting take on that, because it’s almost as if you’re saying you were taking from the bottom line, correct?
Meg Daly:
Yeah. I had a lot of shame around that, because I was in sales, part of a medical diagnostic company, ironically, and there was a lot of partying at the meetings, et cetera. And then thanks to my anxiety, I would get the Sunday night blues — we talk about that — and so I would get out the bottle of wine just to have that sweet escape from the week ahead, and I was not on my A game. And so I look back on that, and I had a lot of shame for that for quite a while, because I thought, “Oh, I could have just done so much better, and I let my team down.” And yet now I look back on myself during that time with tenderness. Like, “Oh gosh, poor you, you were really struggling.”
Laurie Ruettimann:
So, you come to this realization during COVID that you want to step into wellness, that you want to live a different life, that you want more joy, more happiness, and you decide with a friend or a colleague to do a reset. So from there, this whole ecosystem has spawned. So tell me a little bit about that journey.
Meg Daly:
Yeah. So like I said, it was a Sunday morning, I was laying in bed, feeling a little hungover and my friend called, “Hey, let’s go on a 90-day reset, I’m being called to do that.” I said, “Oh absolutely,” and I literally popped up in bed. And I think it was something other than myself that was pushing me to do this, and so I walked to the calendar in the pantry and I opened the door and I counted off the 90 days. And I had buyer’s remorse right away, what am I going to do? How am I going to get —
Laurie Ruettimann:
Not insignificant.
Meg Daly:
I know. And I had done these before, and I always self-sabotaged on the last day. 21-day reset from alcohol, I’d have a glass of chardonnay on day 20. So anyway, I thought, “How am I going to get through this? Oh dear God.” And I think what was different for me this time is, I started creating my tribe, I guess you could say, my clan of following people, Annie Grace, The Naked Mind, just a lot of different people in podcasts. And I learned, I started educating myself on, rather than white knuckling it, what can I do? And so, yes, I started doing my audios in my walking closet every morning for my girlfriend who was on it and creating homework for us, which is now the 30-day reset. And I also, again, just started creating community online, and Instagram.
And what I realized was, if I could change my thought about what I was doing, everything would change. So things like time-traveling to the next morning like, “OK, I can drink tonight, and then how is my day going to look tomorrow? If I don’t drink, how is it going to look?” Before I went to bed I’d say, “Because I didn’t drink alcohol today I, X, Y, Z, I worked out,” a multitude of things. So it’s getting into the mind and reframing and also realizing that, you know what? Going alcohol-free is kind of the cool thing these days, and there’s so many alternatives, nonalcoholic wine, champagne, beer, et cetera.
Laurie Ruettimann:
As you were talking about how you began your own journey over those 90 days, I was thinking about how many people have to work during those 90 days, surrounded by alcohol. So you mentioned that you were in sales, and so the idea that you could give up alcohol for 30 or 90 days is impressive. Because for so many individuals, especially now that COVID is quote-unquote over, they’re required to go out and socialize. And even though there are mocktails and you can drink seltzer waters, nonalcoholic drinks, there’s still something about sitting down with your colleagues or a prospective client or a team or an association and having that drink. And it’s almost as if, when you don’t, people comment on that. So I don’t know, I’m just struck by how you were able to do it, and I wonder if being in isolation actually during COVID was an advantage?
Meg Daly:
Absolutely. And when I talk about my corporate life, that was years ago. During COVID, when I started this, I have my own business, the coaching, et cetera. And so you are spot-on, I had an easier time because there were no happy hours. My girlfriends weren’t calling after work saying, “Let’s go get drinks down the street,” we weren’t having the team dinners with the alcohol, so it was much easier for me. So, what I recommend and offer up for people is that, it’s a very tender time, especially those first 30 days, and if you’re like me, it’s a fragile time, you have to have a plan. Because what you’re doing is, you’re taking something out, and you’ve got to put something really lovely in, whether it be getting a massage instead of going out for drinks, whether it be making a list of all the things you love to do and plugging them into your calendar. I want to address, though, what you said about the pressure of meeting colleagues for drinks, et cetera. I think that that’s a judgment call. Is it really required? Do you have to do that?
Laurie Ruettimann:
It’s a fair question. I was just talking to someone who said, “In my line of business, I recruit people in finance in the U.K., and if I don’t have a drink at the pub, or if I were to order a nonalcoholic drink, I would look weird.” I deal with people who are in IT sales, and they’re out of San Francisco, and part of the whole culture now of being in IT sales is really drinking. So they may have stories that they tell themselves, and that may differ from reality, but yeah, I think there is just this assumption around certain industries and certain jobs that you have to drink. I don’t know, what do you think about that?
Meg Daly:
I think that’s totally spot-on, and so, how about I give a little strategy?
Laurie Ruettimann:
Yeah. I would love that.
Meg Daly:
OK.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Yeah.
Meg Daly:
Yeah. So, ideally we want to get to the point where we’re so empowered and confident and happy in our life to say, “I’m just not attracted to alcohol right now, I’m going to take a pass.” And we have that fear, and I can tell you, a lot of times it’s unfounded, at least for me, and the people I work with, they’re like, “Oh my God, no one really cared.” And what we find is, the people that do care, are the ones that are leaning in, because they’ve been thinking it, too. But before you get to that point, I know a former colleague of mine, he would actually be early to the restaurant and say to the bartender or waitress, “I’m going to order a gin and tonic, please just give me seltzer or put a line in it.” Worked like a dream. Another strategy is, “I’m having some blood work done in the morning for medical reasons.” Another strategy is, “Ugh, I’ve got an early morning meeting, I haven’t been sleeping well, and I just know I sleep better without alcohol.” But it’s real what you pose, it’s real.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Absolutely. Well, I love that you’ve created a community and created a toolkit that can arm individuals. And as we were talking before about how becoming sober during COVID may have been easier, because you weren’t out drinking. For other people, it was the opposite, COVID really drove dependency rates, really drove people to drink, drove people to use drugs and alcohol in disordered ways. So it’s my understanding that a study last year found that alcohol consumption in the U.S. increased by 14% during the pandemic, and women increased their heavy drinking by 41%. So as you can see, alcohol use is increasing for some individuals and, for others, they were able to get healthier during COVID. I wonder if you can talk about your 30-day reset and how that might be useful to those individuals who are coming out of COVID into the real world and really struggling with some alcohol-dependency issues.
Meg Daly:
Absolutely. So, we have a wonderful community. It’s a tight-knit community where the 30-day reset is a whole learning library. It’s a daily audio, daily homework, there’s a journal, there’s a diary. And then, every week, we have a workshop. And we’ve got this wonderful online community where people share. They get on and do their own sharing of what’s working for them. And going back into the workforce, into work, like out into the world, it’s nice to have something where — because my 30-day reset, I always say, you should allocate about 30, 40 minutes a day on the homework, and it’s something to go to. And what I hear from people is that it’s the sanctuary, that the tools that we offer, they’re easy to implement, and they work, and people really feel cared for. Again, you’ve got to find community, whether it’s my program or someone else’s, because it’s tough to do it on your own, especially now that we’re more out in the world.
Laurie Ruettimann:
So, is the assumption that you go through your 30-day reset program, and you arrive at the end of the 30 days alcohol-free and that continues. Or do you have participants, active people in your community, who go back to drinking, but have a different relationship with alcohol?
Meg Daly:
Yes, you’re spot-on. So I like to say, “you’re the guru of you,” you know what works for you. So some people come into my 30-day reset wanting to just go alcohol-free, others just want to do a reset and get to a place where they can moderate.
I read an article in NPR a couple of years ago, and they studied people who did a 30-day reset, and then they would go back to moderating and drinking. Then they’d think, “That kind of felt good, I think I felt better, I think I slept better, I was releasing weight, my skin looked better, I was more patient at work, and at home. I’m going to go back and I’m going to do another 30-day reset, but then I’ll moderate.” And this process would go back and forth, and actually what would happen is that they just organically and naturally moved to abstinence, and that’s been my story over the past couple of years. Because, I mean, I went for longer than 90 days, and then I thought, “Well, I can moderate.” And then I would have my wine, I’d be like, “I’m just not attracted to it anymore,” which I never thought in a million years I would get to that place where I could take it or leave it.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Do you still find yourself watching David Muir though? Because I think there’s something about alcohol and TV, sitting on the couch, just getting a break from the world like that. Behavioral repetition can be so self-soothing, and I just wonder if you can decouple TV from alcohol? Can you do it? Can you go back and watch hot little David Muir? I love that guy.
Meg Daly:
David Muir, I love him. Especially the way he sits with his arm, he’s like, “We’ve got a lot going on tonight.”
Laurie Ruettimann:
He does. He’s just going to tell you how it’s going on. Yeah.
Meg Daly:
It took a while, but yes, I am the mocktail queen. Now I follow people on Instagram — one woman in particular who makes drinking alcohol-free mocktails, so elegant and so cool, and I’ve ordered so much of the products that she recommends. And so I make these beautiful concoctions — not every night, some nights I’ll just do, I call it a gingi pop fizz, some ginger, lemonade and a Topo Chico water, but I put it in a wine glass, and it’s more for me the ritual, I know Lyre’s has a great champagne and it tastes like champagne, and that’s the funny thing. So yeah, I still do watch the news, especially when I go visit my parents. They do that and they have their cocktail and that’s fine, and I make, in the summertime — Ritual Zero Proof has an amazing smoky tequila, and I’m telling you, the margarita tastes the exact same. So yes, David and I are back together.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Well, I love it. I’m here for romance, I’m here for ritual, I’m here for it all, and I’m actually here for the 30-day reset. I think it’s so important for people to step out of their comfort zone and try new things and really learn about themselves in different ways, and so if people are curious out there and want to take this journey with you, where should they go?
Meg Daly:
Sure. They can go to MegKDalycom. Yes, I had to use my middle initials, someone else has Meg Daly, but it’s just MegKDaly.com, and I’m also on Instagram. So lots of information there, as well.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Amazing. Well, we’ll make sure to include everything in the show notes, and if you could leave our listeners with one idea about resetting, rethinking their relationship with alcohol, what would that be?
Meg Daly:
I would make the decision to plan your Friday night on how you want to feel Saturday. Start coming up with ideas, farmers market, it’s summertime now, farmers market, going out for brunch with girlfriends, doing something in the morning, and paying attention and doing that flash-forward trick of, “OK, what are my choices tonight? I’m going to make my choices tonight based on how I want to feel tomorrow morning.”
Laurie Ruettimann:
Well, I’m certainly excited to give that a try. Meg, thanks again for being a guest on today’s podcast.
Meg Daly:
Thank you Laurie.
Laurie Ruettimann:
Hey everybody. I hope you enjoyed this episode of Punk Rock HR. We are proudly underwritten by The Starr Conspiracy. The Starr Conspiracy is the B2B marketing agency for innovative brands creating the future of workplace solutions. For more information, head on over to thestarrconspiracy.com. Punk Rock HR is produced and edited by Rep Cap with special help from Michael Thibodeaux and Devon McGrath. For more information, show notes, links and resources, head on over to punkrockhr.com. Now that’s all for today and I hope you enjoyed it. We’ll see you next time on Punk Rock HR.