Talent Mismatch & Dating

I don’t buy into the trope that looking for a job is like dating. Nothing could be further from the truth. While both are miserable, you have more power when you date. You have the option to say no and decline further contact. Can’t do that with your job.

But I had breakfast with a friend and he told me about the talent mismatch on dating apps. Here’s how it works.

• Men over 40 have indulged the mom jeans and the emotional isolation of a first marriage. They’re looking for someone younger who needs them, wants them, and won’t emasculate challenge them.

• Women over 40 are in their sexual prime and looking for younger men who aren’t caught up in nostalgia and regret.

• Younger men are dating older women because they have little interest in age-appropriate women who want them to have their shit together.

• Younger women are looking for older men because who wants to date someone age-appropriate who is trying to figure his shit out?

Seems like a lot of generational stereotyping, but what do I know? I sat back in my chair and had a moment of gratitude. I never want to know this world of one-and-done and two-and-through.

Dating and looking for a job are not the same thing, but I do know that talent mismatches are real. Happens on teams and in labor markets. And maybe in real life, too. We’re all jigsaw pieces of a puzzle that makes no sense. When it comes to work, we have a few options: cram people into roles, leave positions open forever, or challenge our deeply-held assumptions and be open to trying something new.

When it comes to dating, I’m clueless. Would like to think my friend is open to being surprised by an age-appropriate woman who will love his hang-ups as much as he loves hers.

But I’m not naive.

I just hope his second, younger ex-wife treats him better than his first!