love animalsThere is a universal force that unites all successful and happy business professionals: a love of animals. Some people like dogs, others like cats, but everybody likes animals except for a few cranky people in the office.

In fact, I can go through my career and identify a half-dozen miserable people. They had bouts of depression, mania, and paranoia. They had delusions of grandeur and anxiety. None of them had animals. Not one.

I worked with a woman who was all about her family. I knew she was all about her family because all she did was tell me, hey, my family comes first. You know the type. But she was also one of those super moms who worked by “choice” because she felt especially fulfilled by her job in human resources.

IN HUMAN RESOURCES. Whatever, I still can’t wrap my head around that.

So while she loved being a mom and being a VP of HR, she was a miserable human being who never missed an opportunity to stab a colleague in the back. Or in the face. Or the arm.

One day, this horrible woman happened to overhear a conversation that I was having about my cat, Lucy. Now let me tell you about Miss Lucy. She was the spruce goose of all cats. She was the apple of my eye, the cream of my wheat, and the honey bunches of my oats.

My conversation about Lucy was an opportunity for this HR lady to knock me down. I happened to have a few pictures of Lucy in my office, and this crazy bitch sprang at the opportunity to jump into my conversation and lecture me on how childish and immature I looked with photos of my cats all over my office.

And my first instinct was like — who asked you?

But I was so shocked that I said, “I’m sorry?”

So she repeated it. All of it. Guess what? In version two, I still looked like a moron with all of my cat photos.

I was just like — how is this my life? Working in HR with this witch? How much harder do I have to work to pay off these student loans? Should I let this woman kick me in the face, too?

And it should come as no shock that the mean HR lady didn’t have any animals in her house. Not a guinea pig. Not a beta fish. Not a goddamn dust bunny. No animals. None.

So all of this is just to say that people who love animals are great and happy. Everybody else will just bring you down. Especially if they are HR ladies without cats or dogs.

11 Responses to Don’t Trust People Who Don’t Love Animals
  1. DA Hooligan

    While I agree with you 100% I have one thing to say. Not everyone that loves animals is a nice person. Look at Hitler, and I could name many more. But I guess I should be grateful that they are nice to their own animals and if they are nasty to people, well, I guess I’ll just have to deal.

    • ruettimann

      Makes me think of this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law

      • DA Hooligan

        It’s an interesting theory. I wasn’t thinking of Hitler being a Nazi but just a bad person who liked animals. I actually was also thinking of Leona Helmsley and I have no idea if she was a Nazi or not.

        • ruettimann

          That’s a good one. She wasn’t a nazi but she was mean.

  2. Lindsey Mitchell

    In the words of Bill Murray” I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person”.

    • ruettimann

      I feel badly for people who weren’t raised with animals. I’m willing to offer the benefit of the doubt (at times).

  3. Karen-Kay Harrison

    Funny, but oh so true. The way people treat animals (and anything/anyone else that is defenseless) is usually a very good indicator or the way they treat others. . . although there are many not-very-nice animal lovers too. I can understand people who have an aversion to animals avoiding them, but I would be very reluctant to trust anyone who went out of their way to deliberately cause harm to an animal. BTW – animal instinct about people is amazingly accurate — if the animals don’t trust them — you should probably watch out for them too.

    • ruettimann

      Cats tend to like people who don’t like cats. It’s hilarious. (That’s because cats hate eye contact and are drawn to people who don’t look at them.)

  4. Keith

    People who don’t have pets often don’t have souls either.

    • ruettimann

      I’m not sure people have souls, although it’s nice to think they do.

      If anyone has a soul, it’s a puppy.

  5. Carol

    I am a pet person just so you know. I am sorry you had to work with a nasty HR person, but there are nasty people everywhere. Our pets, especially dogs, reflect how we act. I have met some really nasty pet owners. My guess is that the HR person didn’t start out that way, but developed over time because she didn’t learn how to forgive and let bitterness go. If we are not careful, pets or not, we too can become just like her. I have spent many years in the workforce, with and without pets, and that is the theme I consistently see – People holding on to old hurts and letting them affect their lives way longer than they should. Animals are good for us. I don’t doubt this for a minute. Forgiveness and moving on is even better.