The past two weeks have been busy. Just wrapped up my longest run (22.5 miles) and final big run (Bull City Race Fest) before my marathon. Feels good to finish on a high note. This unflattering but funny-as-hell photo was taken by Lindsey Alexander. When she called my name, I nearly wept for joy.
Someone knows me! Someone witnessed this crazy suffering!
I wanted to share some facts about running, deconstruct a few myths, and break a few stereotypes in the process.
Your nipples will chafe. At some point, something on your body might chafe. Everyone overstates the nipple chafing because it’s titillating and funny. Nobody wants to talk about bra chafing or capri pants chafing. Hell, my ass chafed because I wore the wrong underwear, and I wasn’t even running! You can address chafing relatively quickly. We have science for this.
Good running shoes are expensive. This is both true and false. You can get great shoes at a reasonable price point. You can get shitty shoes that are very expensive. Smart shoppers be smart shoppers, yo. Do your homework.
You will lose a toenail when you run. Gag. I don’t even want to talk about this. If you wear proper shoes and minimize the abrasion to your toes, you will not lose a toenail. You will lose a toenail if you wear ill-fitting shoes. This happens to lots of people who wear heels, tight boots and other funky footwear.
My knees hurt, and I can’t run. Dude, listen to me. It’s your shoes. I know you think it’s not your shoes. It’s your shoes. Try some Superfeet inserts. Stick them in your Converse, too. Are your shoes old? March yourself into a local running store and buy a new pair. Great running stores will earn your loyalty. They will fit you in a shoe and honor a very liberal return policy if it’s not the right one for you.
I’m too slow to run. I just ran behind a woman with bowed legs. You know what? She was faster. If she can run, you can run. You probably can’t get off your fat ass and run a 5K on Friday, which is fine because nobody expects you to do that. Why is it all or nothing?
Running is boring. True. Also, adulthood is boring.
So what’s it gonna be? You with me on training for a race in 2015, or are you going to buy into the misconceptions about running and decide to sit another season out?
I’m going to start training for something — I don’t know what — in March 2015. You should join me.