It’s like Coach purses. I have a bunch — including an awesome, vintage Stewardess bag — but I saw myself mixed in with a group of frumpy women who had a bunch of Coach purses and it scared me.
(I was one clutch away from getting a french manicure. I made fun of it to show that I didn’t take myself too seriously.)
So back to cats: I have a few, and while I laugh about it, I’m pretty sick of hearing other people make fun of HR ladies for having too many cats. First of all, HR ladies have dogs. Lots of them. Little ones. Just ask Robin Schooling, who is America’s HR lady and recently adopted her dog — Mr. Crumples.
(She will tell you that HR ladies don’t scoop litter boxes.)
But it is true that HR ladies, in general, love animals more than people. Can you blame us? People lie about being injured at work. People try to cheat the system and blame the payroll department for not paying alimony, child support, and taxes. People with no ties to 9/11 still call in sick on 9/11.
People suck. People invent drama where none exists. People abuse children and cocaine.
(Animals are better.)
My cat, Roxy, lived in an open-air lot for the first few weeks of her life. She was discovered behind an abandoned washing machine with her younger siblings. She prefers old, dirty water to fresh water because she learned to drink from puddles. And she licks my face and tries to nurse on me because she lost her mother too soon.
You can make fun of me for being a cat lady all day long. But if it weren’t for sweater-vest-loving HR ladies like me, your hard earned tax dollars would be used for corporate welfare AND to euthanize unwanted animals in our society.
I can’t fight corporate corruption, but I can rescue smoochy kittens.
(Once again, HR ladies are bailing your ass out.)
You’re welcome, America!