Every June, I run a half-marathon in Raleigh. It’s very hilly and hot, but it’s the last race around here until autumn.
Last year’s race was when I totally blew out my hip and groin for what I hope will be the final time. I spent months resting and doing physical therapy, which is a code for eating a lot of carbs and moving like a senior citizen.
Now I’m back to rebuilding my running routine.
I signed up for my June half-marathon, which was this past Saturday. My running pace is somewhere around 10:44 when it’s crisp outside and the terrain is flat. If there are hills and it’s over 70 degrees with 95% humidity, I’m rocking the walk-run and a 12-minute mile like it’s nobody’s business.
I looked at the weather and downgraded to a 10K on Friday afternoon before the race. Although we were starting at 7:15 AM, the temps were predicted to be in the low 70s at sunrise. I knew this race might kill me, and I didn’t want to walk-run a 2:30 half-marathon. I’ve got better things to do with my time.
So I ran the 10K, and it was all right. I was super-slow, but I didn’t injure myself.
Then I noticed that people were staring at me after the race. I was starting to get pretty paranoid about it. Why are people looking at me? Am I a paranoid schizophrenic? Am I having an anxiety attack? No, it just seems like I’m red in the face and worn out.
But then I looked down at myself and noticed something else.
It looks like I peed my pants.
During the course, I splashed water all over my head and clothes to stay cool. Unfortunately, I decided to wear these new purple pants from Athleta. They are awesome and mesh, but they don’t absorb water very well. And the results are in: I have a wet crotch.
You guys, it takes a lot for me to feel embarrassed — and this did it. I was momentarily crippled with shame. But other runners have worse stories, and the best way to get over a wardrobe malfunction is to embrace it. So I sent the photos to a few friends who LOLed and then gave me virtual high-fives for running in this heat.
So, yeah, it looks like I peed my pants. But I got up and ran in the most disgusting weather ever. I’m bad-ass, and I learned a valuable lesson: don’t splash your running clothes with water unless you’re wearing all black.