I broke up with my Pilates teacher.

Of course, it doesn’t seem like a big deal to normal people. But I’m not normal. My instructor is one of my dearest friends. I have known her since 2010. I’ve seen her at least three times a week for the past five years. And I let her touch my feet, which is a big deal.

We had to break up because our schedules weren’t aligning. I tried to make it work, but ultimately, my Pilates practice started to suffer because of my inflexible calendar.

So I said goodbye to my teacher in an email that made me cry. I love her. I’m committed to her. But it’s just not working for me.

Since this is a business arrangement, my instructor was totally professional. She is a champ and wants to recommend teachers and studios. There’s a grieving process for me, though. I’m not looking to be “set up” with someone new. I want to surf anonymously through studios and classes to see if a new teacher sticks.

I’m about to start dating with no commitment. Crazy.

My instructor and I will remain great friends, and I’m excited to move to the next phase of our relationship. We’ve traveled together. We have shared a bed together while on the road. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

And the whole experience reminds me that you can love someone, commit to somebody, but also respectfully change the terms and conditions of a relationship if it no longer works for you. Whether it’s a service provider or an employer, you are only constrained by your inhibitions and fear of change.

So if something isn’t working, this is a gentle reminder that there’s always another path. You just need to be brave enough to admit it’s time to change and move forward.

I promise that you will still be loved no matter how hard it feels to pivot. And, most importantly, the world won’t come to an end.

1 Comment

  1. So true! Am over a year in on changing jobs from a 14-year commitment and while my new gig is not perfect, I am not turning back!

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