I’m in a group chat with consulting friends, and the hot topic of the day is how W-2 employees are pretty clueless about how good they have it at work. They’re so out of touch with how work works, they’ve lost every ounce of curiosity, and they have no hustle. They don’t know how good they’ve got it, and they complain about the dumbest things.
That’s true. But I’m also in a chat with people inside corporations who think consultants are assholes who act like they know everything when, really, they just know how to build a deck.
Oh, I also have corporate clients who think their bosses are idiots, directors who think their peers are slow, and leaders who struggle to understand how their employees are adults raising families.
Everybody is shit-talking everybody. And I get it, because it sucks to work in any capacity with people who can’t keep up.
But I have a few thoughts.
First, unless it’s your money, don’t fucking worry about it. My friend Casey pays people to work for her, so it’s her money and she has every right to complain. But most of you aren’t in that position. It’s not your budget, and you don’t earn a bonus on other people’s performance. If anything, somebody else’s ineptitude and mistakes are what keep you employed or in an ongoing contractor role. You get to swoop in and solve problems, and you look productive (and better in general) because somebody else is struggling. Why mess that up?
Second, maybe you don’t know anything about anything. Maybe you’re mistaken, and your idea of good performance isn’t how your organization or your client defines it. I do an exercise with people called “How might I be wrong?” When someone is wound up about something, I ask them to list all the ways they might be wrong, and it works for almost any scenario. I even did it for this blog post.
(How might I be wrong about performance? Maybe people are justified in being upset, and I should stay quiet. I see that perspective.)
Third, everybody has to work, and here in America our dignity is tied to a paycheck or an invoice. So when people criticize someone else’s performance, it sounds to me like they’re criticizing that person’s right to feed their kids, get health insurance, and save for retirement. The American ethos says that if you suck at work, you suck as a person. Maybe that’s a logical overreach on my part, but when I hear people trash someone’s work, I hear an implicit criticism of their soul.
So, unless it’s your money, mind your own business.
Now, it’s tough to practice what I preach, and sometimes I’m a hypocrite. But I believe the name of the game is grace and humility. There’s plenty of work for all of us if we stay cool and stop narcing on our colleagues.
You’re allowed to be frustrated with people at work, and you’re also allowed to let it go and focus on your own paycheck or revenue stream. So the next time a colleague drives you crazy, ask yourself how you might be wrong and see what happens next.