Hello, everybody.

Just a quick note to tell you that I’m behind on blogging. It assumes two things: you read my blog and give a shit.

Thank you.

Here’s the deal.

I had to run up a skyscraper on Sunday morning. Later that night, I attended a memorial service. It was terrible and troublesome and complicated and also very nice. By the end of the evening, my brain was tired. I was confused and grateful and ready for bed.

Then I had some meetings on Monday, which included a luncheon where I killed a plate of sweet potato fries out of sheer anxiety. When I finally made it to the airport, I continued stress-eating by devouring two strong margaritas and a bucket of guacamole.

Then I got on the plane and sat next to a Ted Cruz supporter. Usually, I flash my Laurie-face and shut things down. I wear earplugs and read a book. After an epic run up a skyscraper and a funeral? I felt invincible. I was like, fuck it. I’m ready. Let’s do this.

Margaritas help.

It turns out my Ted Cruz supporter thinks it’s all about the Constitution. So I asked — where in the constitution does it say that the government can limit my reproductive rights? That’s when he’s like, “You know, abortion isn’t as important as ISIS coming over through Mexico and beheading Americans.”

Also, churches provide mammograms better than Planned Parenthood, and Rubio is gay because he has a friend in Miami who owns nightclubs and they were caught in the park.

I wanted to know — could he name one church that performs mammograms and pelvic exams? Where in the constitution does it say that people can’t be gay?

“I’m just saying. This country is a mess. Cruz cares about you, whether you believe that or not. Hillary does not.”

So I said — I’m up here with you in first class. With a tummy full of good food. I run a successful business. I’m educated. And I’m voting for Hillary, not because I’m a puppet, but because I’m informed. And nobody is going to tell me what to do with my body. That’s it. I’m a single issue voter.

“Got it. I respect that.”

The flight ended shortly after that. My Cruz-friend helped me get my suitcase down from the overhead compartment, and we said goodbye nicely. Listen, karma is a bitch. I hate people who talk on planes. At some point shortly, I’ll have to endure two people prattling on about politics. Hopefully, I’ll have my earplugs handy.

Okay, that’s it for me. Thanks again for donating to my hustle. I raised nearly $3,000 to fight lung disease and finished in 25 minutes. That’s a PR in being slow, but with virtually zero training and a voracious appetite for chips and guacamole, I’m super thrilled.

More tomorrow (maybe).


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