Nothing good happens when I’m on LinkedIn. If I am not randomly hassled for free career advice or spammed by your mom, I am objectified by strange men.

You know what really bugs me, though? It’s when you do LinkedIn wrong like this guy.

Screen Shot 2014-08-05 at 10.04.35 PM

Okay, this is not the worst. But I am not interested in collaborating. The last time someone sent me a note like that, he got my email address and sent unfortunate selfies that broke my heart. No thanks.

Also, collaborate on what? What’s it all about, Alfie?

So I wrote back.

Screen Shot 2014-08-05 at 10.04.53 PM

Luckily, my new boo responded!

Screen Shot 2014-08-05 at 10.05.17 PM

(Yeah, uh, I bet he has work for me.)

This guy seems nice enough, so I wrote back and explained that people are weird online. I asked him to elaborate. And I haven’t heard back, of course.


My favorite part of the LinkedIn user experience is when I get off that site.

What a stupid waste of time.


  1. The articles there tend to be the worst; it’s like a competition to see who can get the most questionable “advice” to the largest audience in the fastest way possible. I half-expect Allen Funt to pop up at the end of some of them.

  2. preach! ugh. love letters, job pitches i have no interest in nor qualified for, “you’re a recruiter, can you get me a job?” messages. where does it all end?

    i say this as i have 6 linkedin tabs open… the most necessary evil. #recruiterproblemz.

  3. Am I setting myself up for an attack if I tell you that I think some of the Pulse articles are kind of interesting. Sure, a lot suck, but every now and then one will pop up that’s a bit more than OK. Maybe my standards are low. Or, as I always say, I have high standards. I’m just always willing to lower them.

Comments are closed.