The Worst Career Advice Ever Given: Write Your Boss an Instruction Manual
by Laurie Ruettimann
The worst career advice anyone has ever given is this: write your boss an instruction manual on how you operate.
This advice resurfaces every few years, usually when work culture turns sentimental. It gains traction in moments when companies claim to care about workers as whole people. The underlying promise is always the same. If you explain yourself clearly enough, work will meet you where you are.
- I’m soft.
- I’m cozy.
- I prefer GIFs to direct communication.
I’ve watched capable professionals in their early thirties wonder why their managers don’t respect their judgment while handing over operating manuals made of kindergarten construction paper, punched with a three-ring hole punch, bound with yarn, and decorated with stickers and magazine cutouts that say things like “I am at my best after my afternoon nap” and “lavender lattes make me happy.”
This isn’t a joke.
I advocate for workers. I have always said that if you need something to do your job or improve your life, don’t present it as a personality trait or a preference. Take it. High performers who manage their workload and avoid unnecessary conflict are rarely punished for meeting their own needs. More often, they’re asked why they waited.
The deeper issue is that work is unserious right now. Companies reduce people to data and metrics. Workers respond by treating employers like parents. When managers ask about outcomes and timelines, employees interpret that scrutiny as personal judgment instead of basic accountability. Everyone ends up confused about where authority and responsibility actually live.
Work doesn’t improve because you explain yourself better. It improves because you show up, perform, make decisions, and manage your own needs without asking your employer to parent you. Credibility comes from results and consistency, not disclosure.
If you really need to tell your boss how to love and care for you like Paddington Bear, your operating manual should fit in one paragraph.
I show up. I perform. I go home. I live a full life. I do it again. I do that as long as the deal holds. Pay me well. Give me autonomy to make decisions and take risks. Run a respectful environment with fair pay, transparent incentives, and usable benefits. When that deal breaks, I leave.
That’s the roadmap for workers in 2026.
My wish for you is simple. Become a serious person. Be a fierce CEO of your own life. Stop outsourcing your comfort to your employer and calling it self-advocacy. If you want sleepy-bear tummy-time tea in the afternoon, make it yourself. Keep it to yourself. There’s no reason to ask your boss to give a shit, read your zine about it, or stock it in the company kitchen.
Author note
I write about ideas like this because I want you to have leverage. I want you to keep your dignity, your energy, and your options. If you need a thinking partner as you negotiate a new role, plan an exit, or reset your relationship to work, learn more about my coaching at https://laurieruettimann.com/coaching. If you want the bigger body of ideas behind this post, my acclaimed career book lives at https://laurieruettimann.com/books.